


"You and me got a whole lot of history. So don't let it go, we can make some more, we can live forever."

by SlitheredFromEden



Series: "OCD Got Nothing On Me (Yeah Right)" a memoir by Arthur Pendragon [3]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-05-16 17:13:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5833843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlitheredFromEden/pseuds/SlitheredFromEden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin reflects on his memories of the relationship he and  Arthur shared when they lived together....</p>
            </blockquote>





	"You and me got a whole lot of history. So don't let it go, we can make some more, we can live forever."

**Author's Note:**

> Heyy!!!! Enjoy...  
> The title is from History by One Direction

Merlin sat on the bed, he bags packed. He hated this, he didn't want to leave. He never did.... but he can't live like this, he just can't.

Merlin has been living with Arthur for about month now, since they officially became a couple. It was tough settling in, for obvious reasons.... 

"You can't put that that that over there." Arthur had said once, as he picked up his laptop and placed it right beside his his own. "Isn't it perfect?" 

"If you say it is.." Honestly Merlin couldn't care less where his things went, or weren't supposed to. But it truly mattered to Arthur, Merlin wanted it to matter to him too. 

But Merlin's eagar attitude wasn't so eagar after Arthur decided to restart the whole process. 

"I need it to be symmetrical symmetrical symmetrical symmetrical!" Arthur repeatedly shouted at him. 

Merlin was glad that was over though, but it wasn't the least of of the issues, and certainly wasn't the first diagreement. 

During Merlin's first week he's made the mistake of wearing his shoes in the apartment, not immediately doing the dishes when finished eating and when he does it isn't 'right'   Merlin never actually felt as if he were living with his boyfriend. He felt imprisoned. 

Merlin thought it would feel like that at first then smooth over but he was wrong. He hated it when he's wrong about such things. It was about a week and three days ago when Merlin began to grow tired. 

The door was slamming shut in distance, Merlin glared at the sheets of ungraded essays. "Arthur!" 

"I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm very sorry." He whimpered in return. Arthur joined him in the living room, Merlin could tell he was trying to stay still. Arthur sprang to his feet frequently to check if the the door's locked, or the stove is off, or just to pace around...

"Just stop!" Merlin snapped. "I can't think with all your irritating movement! You checked the oven, you checked the doors, and your loud counting needs to stop!"

"Well, all I can can can can can can do is think!" Arthur's eyes hardened as he skidded out of Merlin's sight. 

Merlin was frozen, he wanted to reach out to Arthur. He really did, but didn't know what to say. 

Arthur never blamed Merlin, he is perfect in every way. His outburst was a longtime coming. Only if he were normal he and Merlin could have had a happy ending. But he's not. He just has to count every thing damn thing, he just had to keep arranging Merlin's desktop, HE JUST HAD TO BE FUCKED UP! Arthur never wished for death more than he does at that time. 

Which brings us back to the present, Merlin with his bags in hand walking past a very still, very quiet Arthur. 

"Arthur, I'm leaving now." 

Arthur hadn't replied, it didn't really surprise Merlin. Arthur hadn't spoken to him since he announced that he was leaving. 

".... Merlin." Arthur's voice was low and tired. 

"Yeah, Arthur?" 

"Don't go go go go." 

Merlin hated what's he's going to do next, use Arthur's OCD to his advantage. He rushed passed Arthur and out the door. He has exactly eighteen seconds until Arthur catches up to him. 

"Merlin, no! Merlin, dammit one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen!" Arthur was full on sobbing by the end of his count. 

He raced down the stairs, he needed to catch Merlin. Merlin can't leave him, he just can't. Arthur races all the way downstairs, then stopped, frozen in his tracks.. he forgot about the final step. He never forgets, panic surges through him. Arthur glanced frantically between the stairs and the door. 

"I need Merlin," Arthur tried to walk towards the door but his body betrayed him walking back the flight of stairs so the can cross over properly. 

Arthur ran down the stairs again, keeping both Merlin and that final step in his mind. 

"DON'T GO!" Arthur begged as soon as he reached the outside. "Please please please please please please." 

"I have to, after the way I treated you. What makes you think I won't do it again?" 

"I don't don't don't care that you you did it, Merlin." Arthur "I understand, and I forgive forgive forgive forgive you." 

"How can you?" 

"Because I I I I love you, Merlin." 

Merlin couldn't breathe, Arthur just confessed his love for him. 

"You change me, Merlin. You make me me me me me me want to change." Arthur continued hopefully. "You poured me a bowl of cereal once once, I ate it. That may seem like nothing to you, but it means the world world world world world to me!" 

"Arthur I,-"

Arthur ignored Merlin,  "I ate it it it it it it it because you said 'trust me, you'll be fine.' and held my hand." 

Merlin remembered that day, he was so proud of Arthur. The first saturday morning at Arthur's, it was. 

"Merlin, they need to be three hundred and fifty." Arthur said, then continued counting. "Eighty, eight-one, eighty-two, eighty-three...." 

Merlin noticed that Arthur usually had his cereal counted as soon as he bought them, but he got overwhelmed by the Great Move he forgot. 

"Just try," Merlin pleaded. "For me." 

"I can't." 

"Can't or won't?" Merlin challenged. "Trust me, you'll be fine." 

He poured a decent am out over the hundred and thirteen cheerios. Merlin always kept an ear out for what number Arthur reaches last just in case Arthur's forgets. 

"Wait! What what what are are  you you you you you doing doing doing?" Arthur sparked out. 

"Here's some milk." Merlin added the milk. "Eat." 

".... Merlin. ..." 

"Here," He held his boyfriend's hand. "I'll be right here, you're safe. I promise." 

"Promise not to let go?" 

"I promise." 

Merlin shook his head, dismissing the memory. "I was so proud of you that day." 

"I know, it made me feel great." Arthur fiddled with his fingers. "I want to change, so so so so you can stay." 

"I don't want you to change for me..." Merlin eyes teared up. "I want you to change for you." 

"Merlin I-"

"I love you, too!" Merlin blurted out. "I'm sorry I made you think that you need to change for me, I should've been more considerate." 

 "Why are you apologizing?" Arthur asked. He was confused, he's the one that is driving Merlin away, not the other way around. 

"Why are you apologizing?" Merlin repeated the question. 

"Honestly honestly, I have no idea." Arthur laughed. 

Merlin always loved that laugh, he still does. Unlike everything else about Arthur, his laugh is never rushed. It's steady and never fails to take Merlin's breath away. 

"I know why I'm apologizing." Merlin sighed "I'm the worst boyfriend ever, I swear I'm going to be paitent with you from now." 

"Don't keep keep keep your annoyance hidden, tell me." 

 "I will, I promise." Merlin took Arthur's waiting hand. "Let's put my stuff away. It might take a while." 

"Nah," Arthur disagreed. "I know know know know exactly where they belong." 

**Author's Note:**

> Don't be stranger leave a comment (I'M LOWKEY DESPERATELY BEGGING FOR SOME FEEDBACK!!!!!!!) thank you have a great day!


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